


Saturdays Aren’t Supposed to be Freaky

by RainCoveredLens



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: A little angst, Body Swap, Fluff, I hope you like it, I was going for a cutesy fic, M/M, Some pining, dorks being dorks, fingers crossed that's what happened, it’s cute, this is my first fic on AO3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 16:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13485024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainCoveredLens/pseuds/RainCoveredLens
Summary: Todd woke to someone poking him in the arm. Since he could remember falling asleep in his bed the night before, he had a reasonably good idea that it was Dirk who was poking. Todd was going to need to talk to Dirk about breaking into his apartment before the alarm went off, the early morning surprises were getting to be a little much for Todd.





	Saturdays Aren’t Supposed to be Freaky

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first fic on AO3. Let me know what you think!

Todd woke to someone poking him in the arm. Since he could remember falling asleep in his bed the night before, he had a reasonably good idea that it was Dirk who was poking. Todd was going to need to talk to Dirk about breaking into his apartment before the alarm went off, the early morning surprises were getting to be a little much for

Todd. He groaned, burying his head in the pillow and waving his hand, trying to swat at Dirk.

"Not yet." He said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Todd, wake up, this is important." Dirk sounded odd like he was trying on an American accent that didn't quite fit, but Todd was too tired to care. He swung his arm out trying to hit Dirk but missed.

"The alarm hasn't gone off yet." Todd also didn't quite sound like himself, and he wondered if he was developing a cold. That thought was quickly pushed aside as his hand came down on the bed, the very soft, very bouncy bed. Todd frowned, he was fairly sure his bed was not that bouncy. An odd tension formed in his chest, putting him on edge as he started to actually wake up.

"Well, you see, it did you just didn't hear it," Dirk said, his voice definitely sounded weird.

Todd opened his eyes, and his frown deepened. Instead of looking at his bathroom and nightstand, like every other morning he had ever awoken in his apartment, he was staring at a seafoam green wall. Dirk's seafoam green wall.

He bolted up and immediately fell off the edge of the bed which he had been laying near. He was in Dirk's apartment. He was in Dirk's bed. Why was he in Dirk's bed? The tension in his chest intensified and something pulled his attention towards the door.

"Now, remember, try not to panic." Todd realized why Dirk sounded odd. It's because it wasn't Dirk. It was him. Or more accurately it was Dirk, but in Todd's body standing awkwardly near the door.

"What the–" Todd quickly looked down and felt panic overwrite the growing tension in his chest. Long, lanky limbs had replaced the limbs Todd had grown accustomed to his entire life. He quickly ran not-his-hands over not-his-body and through not-his-hair.

"Dirk! What the hell? How– why– what?!" Dirk, had moved forward slowly his hands raised slightly, no, Todd's hands raised slightly.

"I don't know. But we'll figure it out. Everything will be fine, I'm sure!" Todd wasn't used to hearing his voice sound so chipper.

"Fine?!" Todd shouted, he jumped up and banged his head into a low hanging shelf that proceeded to collapse on him, depositing books onto the floor.

"Motherf– fine?! How is this going to be fine? You're me, and I'm you and– what is that pain?" Todd clutched at his chest, trying to take slower breaths in an attempt to alleviate the tension. It felt like there was a heavy weight restricting his breathing like he was about to drown. Dirk moved forward and grabbed him by the shoulders, the contact centering Todd, an unusual warmth slowly burning the tension away.

"Hey! Calm down! I already panicked, and I had to do it alone. No more panicking!" Todd nodded, looking down at Dirk, at himself. Dirk was much taller than him, but he had to admit, it was a little nice being the taller one now.

"Okay, no panicking," Todd said, trying to slow his breathing, still all too aware that Dirk was still holding his shoulders.

"So, what do we do?" Todd asked. Dirk frowned, a look Todd was sure his face made quite often.

"I don't know. I’m not getting any insight, universally, to what we should do.” He raised an eyebrow, a very Dirk smile trying to form.

“What do you think we should do?” He asked.

“Me? Why- whoa!” The tension returned to Todd’s chest and almost knocked him backward.

_Breakfast_.

Whatever it was, it was odd. Todd didn’t feel particularly hungry, but he was fairly sure he wanted breakfast.

“Todd? Are you alright?” Todd looked back at Dirk, at himself.

“Yeah, just, a little lightheaded. I could use some food before we try and figure this out.” Dirk grinned and nodded.

“Perfect! I’ll go change and meet you downstairs in 10.” Dirk turned and headed back out of his apartment and back down to Todd’s, leaving Todd to find Dirk’s clothes on his own.

Todd felt an ache form in his chest as Dirk left and he wondered what the pain could be. Did Dirk always feel this way? And when Dirk had grabbed his shoulders, the heat in his chest. It all seemed like some sort of muscle memory that Todd just didn’t know the language for.

Todd was able to throw together a very Dirk looking outfit, not that it was complicated. Slacks, dress shoes, button-up, tie, and a colorful jacket.

_Salmon one._

Todd had been reaching for the classic yellow one that Dirk wore most when his hand changed course, and he was slipping into the salmon-colored jacket.

_That was weird_ , he thought to himself as he stared down at the soft pinkish orange of the jacket. He moved onto the bathroom without giving the odd voice too much more thought.

He stood in front of the mirror and fidgeted with Dirk’s hair. He knew basically how to make it look right and after a few attempts was reasonably happy with the results.

Todd headed down the stairs and only tripped twice which he counted as a good sign. Dirk had beaten him to the front door of the Ridgely but had not tried to dress in anything that resembled what Todd usually wore.

Dirk had found a floral button up and had paired it with skinny black jeans, red Converse, a blue beanie and a gray cardigan that Todd was fairly sure was Amanda’s.

“What are you wearing? You look like a hipster.” Todd said as he walked over to Dirk.

“Well, that’s accurate, your hips are functioning properly. Or at least, I think they are. I haven’t noticed any issues as of yet. Oh! Before I forget! How often do I need to take these?” Dirk pulled the small red pill bottle from the pocket of the cardigan. Todd pursed his lips. He had completely forgotten about his pararibulitis in the panic of the moment.

“Oh, um every four hours. Two of them. You probably want to take some now.” Dirk made a tsking noise as he put the bottle back in his pocket.

“I took some before I got dressed. So, where to?” The odd smile had returned, one eyebrow raised slightly.

_Cute. Pancakes._

Todd was startled by the thought. What was cute? Cute pancakes?

“Pancakes,” Todd said, the word rolling out of his mouth in an odd shape, Dirk’s accent was making it hard for him to speak. But Dirk was nodding and bouncing down the stairs.

“Fantastic! I love pancakes! Or, I did yesterday. Do you like pancakes?” Todd nodded slowly as the tension returned to his chest. He started walking towards the diner that was only a few blocks down. Dirk fell into step next to Todd and started chatting.

"Are we thinking aliens or another soul-swapping cult, or, oh, perhaps a witch put a curse on us! What do you think Todd?" Todd glanced down and had to stop himself from sighing.

"I'm not sure. As far as I know, we haven't pissed off any witches lately." He said, glancing back up as they came to an intersection. "Maybe it was the universe." Why had he said that?

"Could be. I don't think the universe has ever done anything quite like this before, but it may have something to do with it. Personally, I don't really remember what could have happened last night that would have thrown us into this situation." Todd wasn't listening; he was focused more on the odd tension in his chest. It didn't feel bad, but it didn't feel great. As they entered the diner the tension subsided slightly, and more so once they were seated and looking at menus. A bubbly waitress appeared to take their orders.

"Morning you two! Out for a Saturday morning breakfast date, are we? Well, you came to the right place, we've got a couples eat half off special going from 7-10 this morning. You just have to order the same thing." Dirk was beaming and completely ignoring Todd.

"That sounds perfect! We'll do that! Two teas, and two pancake plates with eggs and hash-browns please!" Dirk snatched the menu from Todd and handed it back to the waitress. She smiled and gave Dirk a wink.

"You got it, hun! Be back in a few with that tea!" She bustled off leaving Todd frowning at the table. The tension had returned to his chest but was now accompanied by a warmth that was making him twitchy.

"You alright?" Dirk asked, pulling Todd back to the moment. He looked up at Dirk, into his own eyes and nodded slowly, trying to find the right word.

_Perfect._

"Perfect," Todd said. The waitress had returned with two mugs and a teapot filled with water as well as two bags of English Breakfast.

"Here ya' go! Your food will be out in a jiffy. Just holler if you need anything!" She headed away again leaving Todd to watch Dirk slowly pour out water into each mug and pop the tea bags in.

"Sugar?" Dirk looked up, holding small pink packets up. Todd blinked for a moment and then shook his head.

"No thanks," Todd answered, pulling his mug closer to him. He didn't particularly like tea, but as Dirk had said earlier, he didn't like tea yesterday, today might be different. He carefully took a sip and was surprised that he didn't hate the taste. A little bland, but not bad. He realized that Dirk was probably used to drinking it with packs of sugar like he was currently dumping into his own cup, but Todd didn't want to add sugar to his already antsy system.

“Pancakes,” Dirk took a sip of his tea and tried to hide the scrunch of a face he made at the taste, “then what?” He looked up at Todd, and Todd found himself lost for words. The warmth in his chest was pushing out all other thoughts. Did Dirk always feel this warmth? Was it the universe or was it–

“Todd? What do you want to do after pancakes?” Dirk tried again.

“Oh, um, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet, just, going with the flow, I guess.” Dirk gave him the weird little raised eyebrow smile and shrugged, trying his tea again.

“Sounds good to me. Does your tea taste alright?” Todd glanced down at his mug and shrugged.

“Tastes fine. But remember, I don’t actually like tea, so adding sugar to it probably won’t make it taste any better, to my body at least.” Dirk frowned and sighed as he took another sip, scrunching up his nose.

“We can get coffee after breakfast,” Todd said. Why had he just said that? Why couldn’t they get coffee here?

_Coffee after._

The voice in his head was becoming quite annoying. He was going to ask Dirk about it when their food arrived. Dirk thanked the waitress and looked down at his pancakes, another frown on his face. After a moment he sighed and grabbed Todd’s plate.

“Dude, come on, we have the same meal.” Dirk ignored Todd as he moved the eggs and hash browns onto his plate and put his pancakes on Todd’s. Once done he pushed the plate back along with the syrup.

“We do have the same meal, but I just really don’t want pancakes. You can have them all. Lord knows I can eat all of them. Oh, and you’ll probably just want to use all of the syrup. That’s what I would do.” Todd was going to argue, but he knew Dirk was right, the eggs and hash browns had not sounded appetizing at all, but pancakes. Pancakes sounded great. He put an average amount of syrup on the first one and tried a bite. After a moment Todd sighed and poured the entire container all over the plate. Dirk snorted but didn’t say anything while they ate in silence.

Their waitress reappeared about twenty minutes later with the check, and then they were off, headed towards, something. Todd wasn’t sure, but this direction felt good. Todd was starting to feel the sugar from the syrup move through his system. Every little thing they passed suddenly became interesting. The shop with the vintage signs in the windows, the bakery that had rainbow bagels, that guy turning the corner up ahead.

_Follow_.

“Hey Dirk, let’s go this way.” Todd took the lead and didn’t notice that Dirk was several steps behind him until he rounded the corner. Up ahead was a small coffee shop that also looked like it doubled as a bookstore. Dirk came jogging around the corner and stopped next to Todd.

“Jesus, my legs are long. Also, you’re very short. I’m sorry for every time we’ve had to run away from anything. Keeping up with me is a nightmare.” Todd wasn’t listening. Instead, he was focusing on the coffee shop.

“Come on; you need coffee.” Dirk was going to protest, but Todd grabbed his hand and dragged him forward. Todd hadn’t realized he had Dirk’s hand, or his hand rather until they were inside the coffee shop and the barista on the other side of the counter looked up and smiled at them.

“Hey, you two! Welcome! Let me know if you have any questions.” Todd dropped Dirk’s hand and felt a loss of warmth in his chest. He was going to get to the bottom of this weird feeling if it was the last thing he did today.

“We have a case.” He heard himself saying down to Dirk, who was looking around the coffee shop for a place to sit. Dirk turned quickly, eyes slightly wide, fear creasing his brow.

“Seriously? Right now? I don’t know if we can handle a case. I mean, we aren’t exactly playing with a full deck as it were.” Dirk said. Todd shook his head and moved towards the counter.

“It’s fine. I’m sure we can figure it out. I mean with your, whatever it is, how hard can it be? Hi, can I get a large coffee?” The girl smiled as she hit a few buttons on the computer, and then looked up and gestured toward Dirk, who had wandered off to grab them a table by the window.

“And what will your boyfriend have?” Todd was going to correct her. They weren’t dating after all. But none of that came out of his mouth.

“Large hot chocolate for him.” Is what came out of Todd’s mouth. What was with this day?

The girl smiled and rang him up. Todd moved over to the table, thinking about what the girl had said.

Boyfriend. The warmth in his chest returned as Dirk smiled up at him, Todd’s own blue eyes distracting him as he made it to the chair.

_Oh crap,_  Todd thought to himself. The pieces suddenly clicked together, and it felt like the universe was humming. Todd was fairly confident he had just solved a case, and he was fairly sure that he was at the center of the situation. Dirk noticed the weird look he must have been wearing and frowned.

“Everything okay?” Dirk asked. Todd nodded, giving his best smile as he fidgeted the chair into place.

“It’s fine. I just, I don’t think, we actually have a case. I think I was wrong earlier.” Todd said. Dirk nodded and looked out the window.

“This place is nice. I didn’t know there was a little coffee shop slash bookstore this close to the Ridgely. We should come here more often.”

We. That was the word that chimed with Todd. We. Not I, not me, not you; we. Todd could listen to that word all day long, but fear crept into his chest. What if the only reason he felt like this was because of Dirk? What if they switched back and the muscle memory, the feelings, didn’t come with him? Todd tried to think about all of the times he and Dirk had had alone time. Not when they were running from monsters, or battling aliens, but just ordinary, sit down, grab-a-bite, alone time. Had he felt anything?

Of course, he had. Dirk was his best friend. He loved spending time with Dirk. He loved listening to Dirk, and he loved arguing over what place to order take-out from, he loved sitting on the couch throwing popcorn at the television as they watched whatever show they were binging that week.

_You love Dirk._

The voice was still very unhelpful. Todd wished he could ask the voice if he would still love Dirk, the way Dirk loved him, when all of this was over.

Today was shaping up to be very complicated.

The barista appeared with their drinks. Dirk, who was the only one paying attention to what was going on, thanked her and pushed the cup of hot chocolate towards Todd.

“I realize I intake a lot of sugar during the day. That’s not going to cause problems for me later in life is it?” Dirk asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“What do the hunches feel like?” Todd asked before he could stop himself. Dirk glanced up and shrugged.

“I don’t know, they just kind of feel like a push, sometimes it’s like whole words, but mostly it’s just a feeling. Like, pick this up, walk over there, don’t touch that, that sort of thing. Why? Do you think you’re getting a hunch?” Dirk asked the eyebrow smile had returned. Todd shook his head and took a sip of his hot chocolate. Todd wrinkled his nose at the sweetness of the chocolate but continued to drink it, Dirk’s taste buds loving every sip.

“I don’t know, maybe. I’ll keep you posted.” Todd said. Dirk continued to eye him over the top of his coffee but didn’t push the subject.

“So, breakfast, now coffee, where to next?” Dirk asked, pulling a flyer from the end of the table and looking it over.

“Oh, there’s a Weekend Market in the park. That could be fun.” Dirk said, pushing the flyer over towards Todd who looked down at it.

_No. Waterfront._

“Or, we could go to the waterfront,” Todd said, glancing up just in time to see the eyebrow smile appear and disappear.

“Yeah, that works too. Should we call Farah and let her know what’s going on?” Dirk asked. Todd waited for the voice, but nothing happened.

“I think, if we haven’t gotten this sorted out by tomorrow then sure, but it’s Saturday, let’s not drag her into this, weirdness. Not until we have to.” Todd said. He downed his hot chocolate and glanced around. A book caught his eye, and he was out of his seat before he had a chance to even think about standing up.

The book he had spotted was a small book of poetry. He flicked through it recognizing a few of the names and reading a few stanzas here and there. Todd stopped on a poem towards the back, he read through it quickly and smiled down at the book. Flipping it closed he headed to the counter where Dirk was returning their empty cups.

“Buying a book?” Dirk asked, trying to get a look at the title. Todd nodded and handed the girl behind the counter some cash. Todd slipped the book into his back pocket and nodded towards the door.

“Ready?” Todd asked. Dirk smiled and followed him back out onto the street. Todd tried to shorten his steps, knowing full well that it was tiring trying to keep up with Dirk and elected to walk at the pace that Dirk set, occasionally dragging them off course to take alternate routes down to the wharf.

They made it down to the wharf a little after two, having walked the entire way. Todd wasn’t feeling terribly tired, but that probably had to do with the copious amounts of sugar he had had that morning. Dirk, was looking a little worse for ware. As they took a break on a bench, Dirk popped the pill bottle out of his pocket and popped two more pills.

“Are you doing okay?” Todd asked, a little worried that he had forgotten again that Dirk could have an attack if his body got too stressed. Dirk glanced over and nodded, an odd look on his face as he watched boats cruise through the Sound.

“Yes, just thinking is all. I don’t know what caused this, and I can’t feel a way out of it, and I don’t know, I guess I’m just worried. What if we can’t fix this? What if you’re stuck like this forever?” Dirk was looking over at Todd, and Todd watched as his own blue eyes began to cloud with tears.

“What if _I’m_ stuck like this? Dirk, you’d be stuck too. Don’t discount your issues to worry about mine. We’ll figure this out. Like you said this morning, no more panicking. What’s that thing you always say? You’re a leaf in the stream in creation? We just gotta go with the flow and let whatever happens happen.” Todd said. Dirk laughed and looked over at him, the eyebrow smile had returned.

“That was a very me thing to say.” Todd shrugged and bumped his shoulder against Dirk.

“What can I say? I spend enough time with you, one would hope I know how you talk.” Todd laughed lightly as they settled into silence on the bench. A few seagulls hopped nearby, and the sounds of a ferry docking could be heard in the distance.

“Well, if nothing else, today was very nice,” Dirk said finally, breaking the silence. “Very weird, and hopefully our issues will be resolved soon, but, today was nice.” Todd nodded and hopped up.

“Indeed. Let’s go back and grab some take out on the way.” Todd said as he turned back around to face Dirk who was laughing lightly.

“What?” Todd asked. Dirk shook his head and stood.

“Nothing it’s just, it’s very me, I feel like I’m looking in a mirror,” Dirk said, falling into step alongside Todd.

_Arm._

Todd hooked their elbows together and continued forward, helping to keep Dirk at his pace while helping him slow down a bit. Dirk seemed surprised by the movement but didn’t try to pull away from the closeness.

* * *

They arrived back at Todd’s apartment around five, having collected some Chinese takeout and planning on settling into a movie over dinner. They both sat on the couch, Dirk waiting for Todd to sit and then sitting as far away as the couch would allow him to. Todd frowned but didn’t move to close the distance. That was until they had finished their food and they were about halfway through the latest Marvel movie.

_Closer_.

The universe pushed him. He glanced over at Dirk who was sitting criss-cross, his hands gently resting in his lap as he watched the movie. Todd stood and walked into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water, when he returned he made sure to sit closer than he had been. Dirk eyed him out of the corner of his eye but didn’t move.

_Closer._

Todd almost sighed, he had already moved two feet, but apparently, that wasn’t close enough. He stood slightly and tucked his legs underneath him and leaned over, invading Dirk’s space even more. Dirk gave him a sideways glance but didn’t move. Todd hadn’t noticed that these looks weren’t accompanied by the eyebrow smile like all the other looks. Todd was more focused on the fact that the universe still didn’t think he was close enough.

_Closer._

Todd threw his arm over Dirk’s shoulder and pulled him close, almost as if to say ‘close enough?’ to the voice in his head. That was the thing that set Dirk off.

“Nope. No. No. I can’t– I know what’s going on.” Dirk had jumped from the couch and had grabbed the remote, pausing the movie and turning back around.

“What?” Todd asked, trying to play innocent, but who was he kidding, of course, Dirk knew what was going on.

“You’ve been getting hunches all day. I know what they’re like, I can recognize when you get one. It’s not exactly hard. The only difference is that I ignore all the hunches that you haven’t been.” Dirk looked flustered and very awkward, his arms crossed over his chest and standing just out of reach. Todd shook his head and stood.

“Wait, you’ve known what’s been going on all day? Why didn’t you just tell me that you knew I was getting hunches?” Todd asked.

“I didn’t think you would listen to those hunches. I thought you would listen to just the normal ones, like getting breakfast, and going for a walk. I didn’t think you would listen to the- to the touchy ones.” Dirk was definitely flustered. But Todd realized that he wasn’t flustered because he was annoyed, Dirk was embarrassed.

_Touch._

Todd ignored the hunch.

“Wait, you get these touchy-feely hunches all the time, and you ignore them?” Todd asked. Dirk rolled his eyes, a movement that looked very natural coming off of Todd’s body.

“Of course I do, because you, well, because, you know, you’re not, inclined that way. Or at least, that’s what I thought.” Dirk said, glancing to the side as his face went red. Todd moved forward, grabbing Dirk by the arms and dragging him back towards the couch.

“Dirk, it’s okay, you could have just explained. I would have understood. It’s not a big deal.” Todd said, sitting Dirk down on the couch and sitting close enough that their knees brushed slightly together. Dirk was shaking his head, refusing to make eye contact.

“No, I couldn’t. It would ruin the friendship, I know it. You don’t feel that way, towards me, so there was no point in me telling you.”

_Touch._

Todd pushed the urge back down.

“Dirk, it wouldn’t have ruined anything. And how do you know I didn’t feel the same way? You’re my best friend. I love you, Dirk.”

What had Todd just said?

He felt his brain break as he processed what he had just said out loud, to Dirk. He said he loved him. Did he love him? Of course, Dirk was his best friend, and he would do anything for him. But friend felt wrong. 'Friend' didn’t feel big enough. Todd loved Dirk. Like proper, love, like fall down, head over heels, capital ‘L’ love. And he had just said it out loud. To Dirk. Who currently looked like he was going to have a panic attack.

_Do something!_

To say that Todd planned to lunge forward would have been silly. Nothing he had done that day had been planned. But he lunged forward, all the same, closing the distance between him and Dirk. Their lips connected and, Todd knew it was cheesy, but he felt real sparks, like he had just been electrified. He didn't even care that he was technically making out with himself, he wanted Dirk, he knew that now, and nothing, not even some weird Freaky Friday scenario was going to stop him.

Todd felt himself fall back against the couch, a weight pushing down on his chest. He let out a gasp, and they broke apart. Todd opened his eyes, and it took him a second to realize what had happened.

It looked the whole living room had flipped, he was now looking back towards windows, but what caught his attention was much closer than the windows. Dirk, as in Dirk's body was carefully pushing away from him, cheeks flushed, and panic in his eyes. Todd did a quick pat down, and sure enough, he was back to his regular, shorter self that he was used to.

What should have been a great moment, made even better by the fact that they were now back to normal, was quickly slipping away. Dirk was rather frazzled and was muttering to himself.

"Oh my god, no, nope, that– nope, because you, but then, with the–" Todd was too slow. Dirk jumped from the couch avoiding Todd’s grasps.

“Dirk, wait.” Todd tried to stand and got caught on the cardigan, falling back onto the couch as the apartment door slammed closed.

“Shit. Dirk!” Todd jumped up chasing after Dirk. He raced up the stairs and tried the handle to Dirk’s door. As expected the door was locked, so Todd tried knocking.

“Dirk? Come on, open the door.” He could hear shuffling on the other side of the door but no movement towards it. Todd sighed and tried the handle again.

“Dirk, please, we need to talk.” There was another shuffle and a click as the door unlocked. Dirk opened the door, avoiding eye contact as he blocked the entrance.

“Look, it’s okay, we don’t need, I,” Dirk sighed, “I can understand what happened. You were encouraged by the hunches because they were for me, and for a moment you were me, so, it’s alright. I understand that you don’t feel that way.” Dirk started to close the door, but Todd stuck his foot out, blocking it from closing.

“No, we’re going to talk about this,” Todd said, as he walked around Dirk into the apartment.

“You think that the hunches are what made me do all that stuff right? That I was just going with the flow? In retrospect, I see that that was probably because I told you that’s what I was doing. But I wasn’t, I was listening to the hunches, I was listening to what the universe had to tell me, and you know what? I liked it. More than that I loved it. Every bit.” Todd said, slowly pacing. Dirk had closed the door and had moved in a bit, just out of reach of Todd’s pacing.

“And you, you feel like that all the time. And you keep it all bottled up, and that’s bad. That’s not healthy Dirk. And I know that I’m not, the most emotionally available person. But I want to be. I want to be there for you. And I want to go everywhere with you. And I want, god, I don’t even know. I just, today was weird, for sure, but our lives are weird. Everything we do is weird. And you and I, we can’t be weird, not with each other. I want, I want us to be good. I want us to be an us. Not an I, or a me, or a you, us.” Todd stopped talking, his head was spinning, and it was getting hard to breathe. Dirk was still standing just out of reach watching him, a blank look on his face.

“Dirk? I guess I told you what I want, but, what do you want?” Todd asked. Dirk didn’t say anything. For a moment he didn’t even move. But then Todd saw it, the hunch look. The face he had been making all day. Dirk walked forward, no falter in his step to be found. He raised his hands to pull Todd in by the sides of his face and kissed him.

This time around there were no sparks, there was no electricity, there was only warmth and love. Todd wrapped his hands around Dirk’s waist, holding him closer, mostly out of fear that Dirk would try to run away again. After a few moments, Dirk pulled back, resting his forehead on Todd’s, and gave a breathy laugh.

“Do you realize how long I’ve been waiting to do that? And do you realize how annoyed I am that you beat me to it? In my body no less!” Dirk said, the laughter passing to Todd.

“Also,” Dirk continued, “Making out with myself. Not something I’d love to repeat. But making out with you, I could see us having a couple more goes at it.”

“Only a couple?” Todd asked. He tried the eyebrow smile that Dirk had been giving him, and Dirk laughed.

“Oh, you noticed the face,” Dirk said. Todd nodded.

“It’s kind of hard not to notice your own face making a weird knowing smile every time you get a magical universe hunch,” Todd answered. With his hands still on Dirk’s waist, he could feel the book he had bought earlier still in Dirk’s back pocket. Todd grabbed the book and smiled.

“Come here.” Todd lead Dirk over to the couch, and they sat next to each other, not worrying about invading each other’s space because they were already existing in it. Todd quickly thumbed through the pages until he found what he was looking for.

“So, at the time, this was a hunch, which I’m sure you knew, but I don’t know, I just, I wanted to read you this poem. I know it’s sappy, but, anyway.” Todd said as he looked down at the page.

“When I have fears that I may cease to be  
Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,  
Before high-piled books, in charactery,  
Hold like rich garners the full ripen’d grain;  
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,  
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,  
And think that I may never live to trace  
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;  
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,  
That I shall never look upon thee more,  
Never have relish in the faery power  
Of unreflecting love;–then on the shore  
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think  
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.”*

Todd flipped the book closed without looking up.

“I don’t know, I read it and–” Dirk pulled him in for another kiss. More tender than the first two, this one calmed Todd’s racing heart, and for a moment he knew that nothing else in the world mattered.

“No one has ever read me poetry before. That is, by far, the sweetest thing.” Dirk said as he leaned his forehead against Todd’s. Todd could hear the crack in Dirk’s voice, and he wrapped him in a hug.

“I’ll read you poetry till the end of everything if that’s what you want,” Todd said. Dirk laughed and pushed himself back from Todd, running a hand down the side of Todd’s face and staring into his eyes.

“That sounds, perfect.” Dirk smiled, and Todd knew that no matter what happened next, no matter what problem came their way, they would face it together.

**Author's Note:**

> *The poem Todd reads is called “When I have Fears” Written by John Keats and published posthumously in 1848.


End file.
